5 Tips Every Newly-Wed Should Know
(Or Old Timer Should be Reminded Of)
As I approach my one year anniversary of marriage I have been reflecting back on the things I either wish I would have known before I got married or was told before I got married that have turned out to be completely true. I thought it might be helpful to share them so others who are embarking upon the wonderful world of marriage would have them to think through as life plays out.
I would like to start off by saying that marriage is wonderful! It has truly blessed my life beyond measure and I have never been happier. When asked what my favorite part of marriage is I often tell others, “I LOVE being able to have a slumber party every single night of the week with my best friend.” The other thing I love about marriage that is different from being in a dating relationship is just the aspect of “doing life together.” When I say this, I am talking about the expectation that comes with marriage that you and your partner will always be together for every holiday, every party, every vacation, etc. When you are dating (even in serious relationships) it is my experience that this expectation does not exist. In fact your friends/family may even complain that you are always with your significant other and that would like you to themselves every now and then. On the contrary, it is expected your spouse will be with you for all special events once you are married.
That being said without further ado here are the 5 things every newly-wed should know:
I would like to start off by saying that marriage is wonderful! It has truly blessed my life beyond measure and I have never been happier. When asked what my favorite part of marriage is I often tell others, “I LOVE being able to have a slumber party every single night of the week with my best friend.” The other thing I love about marriage that is different from being in a dating relationship is just the aspect of “doing life together.” When I say this, I am talking about the expectation that comes with marriage that you and your partner will always be together for every holiday, every party, every vacation, etc. When you are dating (even in serious relationships) it is my experience that this expectation does not exist. In fact your friends/family may even complain that you are always with your significant other and that would like you to themselves every now and then. On the contrary, it is expected your spouse will be with you for all special events once you are married.
That being said without further ado here are the 5 things every newly-wed should know:
1. Communication is extremely important! Many people believe that in a marriage your spouse should understand what you are meaning without you having to put it into words. This is the “If they love me they will understand what I mean without me having to say it,” mentality. This is not necessarily true. Reminder, your spouse is NOT a minder reader. That being said, make sure to communicate to your spouse what you mean and do not assume they understand. This will save you many a fight and misunderstanding.
2. Date your mate. The first year of marriage is a very special time. There is a spark being light between you and your spouse that you need kindle. Go out and enjoy some time with each other. Celebrate little things. Cleaned the house together for the first time? Made it through the first Christmas at both in-laws houses? Celebrate by having a night on the town. Getting dressed up, putting some heels and makeup on, and going out together will be something you won’t regret.
3. Enjoy marriage but don’t have unrealistic expectations. If you both think marriage is the end to all your problems think again. Bad things happen people. People have to work late hours. Finances get tight. Etc, etc. Really enjoy the time you have when you are together. Make your spouse your number one priority in your first few months of marriage but also realize that marriage does not mean that you won’t have challenges.
4. Carve out “you” time. Whether this is a hobby that you can do to keep yourself busy while your spouse is off, or time you spend painting your nails or reading a book, make sure to carve out time for yourself. On that same note make sure you both keep your friends. Make times for your girls and let your guy have time for his guys. This will make you enjoy the time you have together even more.
5. Forgive quickly and easily. Put your ego aside and learn to forgive your partner. Sometimes you won’t even know what you did. That is ok. The worst mistake you can make is to get angry with your spouse because they are angry at you. Trust me this is no good for anyone. You end up just wasting precious time together and no one is happy. Forgive and then make up. That’s the best part if I do say so myself. ☺
Note: This article was a featured article on richlymiddleclass.com. You can view it here: http://www.richlymiddleclass.com/2012/06/15/5-tips-every-newly-wed-should-know-2/
Love it! Especially the date your mate. I've had many older people tell me you should never stop dating your spouse! It's a big key in a long lasting successful marriage!
Love this! My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary and I couldn't agree more!
Thanks for your thoughts and couldn't agree more! Happily marriages for six months now 🙂
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